Me two years ago: I am the only. The one. The token gay. No other LGBT people. It’s just me. I am alone.
Me now: What’s a straight person again? Haven’t seen one in years…
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- *alien starts abducting me with their spaceship*
- Me: woah woah woah. Hold on. Let me ask my mom about this first.
- Alien: that's okay, take your time.
- Me: thanks. *shouts* MOM, CAN I GET ABDUCTED BY THIS ALIEN?!?!
- Mom: *shouts back* YEA SURE, JUST BE BACK BEFORE DINNER!!
- Me: aight man. She said it's cool.
- Alien: cool
- anxiety: hey its time
- me: for what
- anxiety: its time
- me: ?????????
- anxiety: :)
- me: ????????????????????????????????????????????
- me: I really!!!! want!!! people!!!! to help!!!! me with!!!! my problems!!!!!!!
- brain: you have to tell people about your problems first.
- me: disgusting. atrocious. completely repugnant. I have never heard anything so vile. get out of my sight immediately.
- Inbox: (1)
- Me: hoe don't do it
- Message: hi how are you? Can I ask you a favor? I'm a video game developer and I was wondering if you could test out the game on my blog to make sure it works? It will only take you a few seconds. Thank you :)
- Me: oh my god
- me: *wants to live a minimalist life with little to no clutter*
- also me: I'm keeping this math assignment from 5th grade I might need it later.
